ramblesandreblogs:

There are times when the two of them together is just fucking. Plain and simple. Rough and dirty. Oliver’s nails digging harsh lines into Connor’s back. Connor sucking marks down Oliver’s neck. Connor’s hand pressing hard on Oliver’s shoulder, holding him down while Connor pounds him into the mattress. Oliver’s hands gripping Connor’s hips so tight they leave bruises while Connor rides him into oblivion. It is hands twisted in sheets, sweat running down brows, and tirades of dirty talk that break into pleas for mercy.

The next day Connor tenderly presses a finger to one of the marks on his hip while they are sitting around Annalise’s office. Even through the layers he’s wearing the skin is tender and he smiles to himself remembering. Who knew shy computer nerds could be so good?

Other times two of them together is just fun. Laughter and teasing. Natural and effortless. They accidentally clunk their foreheads together and start giggling like teenagers, breathless and easy. Connor discovers that Oliver is remarkably ticklish and exploits that fact. Oliver gets some of his own back when he discovers that Connor is just as ticklish. It is kisses that taste like laughter, dirty talk that turns into shameless teasing, and make out sessions that just go on and on because why the fuck not.

The next day Connor finds himself grinning like an idiot in the middle of class. For the first time ever he doesn’t even care if it comes off as needy when he texts Oliver a dozen times before lunch because he’s just so happy. Who knew shy computer nerds could make him feel so free?

Then there are the rare times when the two of them together is making love. Gentle and soft. Powerful and sacred. Reverent touches running over smooth skin. Solemn vows whispered in voices breaking. Oliver quietly cradles Connor’s face and kisses him like Connor actually matters. Connor rubs his own cheek against Oliver’s and then buries his face in the other man’s neck and lets the tears fall free. Oliver breathes kisses down Connor’s shoulder as they bask in the afterglow. Connor pulls Oliver close and they relish in the blessed silence that comes with simply being together. All the while, three little words go unspoken between them.

The next day Connor wakes in a panic and wonders how he let himself fall so far down the rabbit hole. He tries to tell himself that it’s not too late to get out. Eventually Oliver will see that Connor’s just not worth it anyway so really he’s doing them a favor and saving everyone some time. In the harsh morning light, Connor glances over to Oliver’s sleeping form and wishes, not for the first time, that he was better and more. Oliver deserves better and more. Who knew shy computer nerds could make him want so much to be worthy?