Virgo
Aries
Taurus
Pisces
Cancer
Tag: fml
Every conversation with my mother EVER.
reasons to date me
- don’t
- i’m in love with fictional characters
- i have no time for you
- go away
THE SIGNS’ ROLES IN SCHOOL
Stoners: Taurus, Pisces
Preps: Virgo, Libra
Emos: Cancer, Capricorn
Class Clown: Gemini, Sagittarius
Jocks: Aries, Leo
Rebels: Scorpio, Aquarius
Populars: Leo, Libra
Shit Talkers: Gemini, Virgo, Libra
Valedictorians: Virgo, Capricorn
Smart but doesn’t care about grades: Gemini, Scorpio, Aquarius
Artists: Taurus, Cancer, Pisces
Hipsters: Virgo, Aquarius
Skaters: Aries, Sagittarius
Bullies: Aries, Capricorn
*hears birds chirping outside*
*looks at the time* *4:30 am*
fuckdamnit
things me and my laptop have in common:
- slow
- difficult to wake up from sleep
- struggles to complete basic tasks
“what do you want for your birthday?”
lower college tuition. my motivation back. a normal sleep schedule. the cold embrace of death. a sense of purpose. some socks would be nice too
other people: after work I’m going out with friends and this weekend I’m going hiking with ten people and then going to a concert and just like chilling with my buddies
me: after work I plan on melting. melting into my bed. becoming bed in the short time I have before I must re-engage in human contact. weekends are extended melts. being a person for more than 40 hours a week is beyond my capabilities. melting is my capabilities.
BEING AT A CONCERT AND WANTING TO ENJOY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF IT BUT ALSO WANTING TO TAKE GOOD VIDEO AND PICTURES TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING
Me: *goes to job interview*
Me: *Is a fake ass bitch*
Me: *Tells employer nothing but bold faced lies*
Employer: You’re hired!
Me as im leaving the office: YOU THOUGHT I WAS A HARD WORKING INDIVIDUAL YOU THOUGHT BITCH! YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PUT YOUR COMPANIES INTEREST AHEAD OF MY OWN! ALL I WANT IS YOUR MONEY!
Employer:What was that?
Me: Im looking forward to starting Monday 🙂
lanablack 