I’ve seen a couple posts & discussions lately that boil down to the idea that fandom/being a fan/being a giant geek is something it’s inappropriate to engage in after a certain age. (What age? Who knows, it depends on who you ask: 18, 25, 30, I’ve seen it all.)
Actual footage of me every time I see this idea:
COME WITH ME, MY DARLINGS. Let us explore the many wonderful, varied reasons why this idea is a steaming pile of horsecrap.
Notice that men are supposed to be sports fans until their last breath. I’ve been at the funerals of elderly men where people say things like, “At least he lived long enough to see his team win last weekend.” I was at a funeral a few months ago where the man’s collection of toy cars was not only put on display but actually inventoried for twenty minutes as part of a eulogy.
But women are supposed to outgrow not just fandom, but any and all hobbies that aren’t suspiciously similar to housework. Look at the hobbies traditionally associated with grandmothers – gardening (aka yard work), cooking, baking, sewing, knitting – there’s a pattern. A woman who tries to maintain an interest in anything fun (that doesn’t directly benefit others) gets told, “You’re an adult now, it’s time to focus on your responsibilties.”
Female hobbies are coded frivolous, juvenile, and selfish. Male hobbies are catered to by society at large. The whole world stops for the damn Superbowl. Women are even scoffed at for shopping, even as the world demands they display “fashion sense” as dues for existing. A man on a family vacation is expected to sneak off for a round of golf or to catch a football game in the hotel bar. Because vacations are for relaxing! A woman on a family vacation is demonized as selfish if she tries to read a book. Because this is family time!
So recognize this fandom age limit for what it is – sexism so internalized we don’t even recognize that we’re doing it to ourselves.
When i was a kid my mom and i had a code word to let her know when i needed her to say no. For instance if a kid at school asked me to come over and stay the night but i really didnt want to, id call my mama and ask her, and then end it with “please, Mom?” I never call my mama Mom, just Mama or Moomoo, so she would know immediately to say that I was grounded or had too much homework or some other bullshit. We also had a system the other way around, so if i called her to see how her date was going and she needed an out, she would call me babydoll and id tell her i heard scary noises and was frightened and needed her to come home or something.
Anyways, my point is that every family should hqve a system of codes to keep them safe. Go do that.
lanablack 