Venom’s talk about being considered a loser on his planet, his quick fondness for Eddie, his pleasant surprise when Eddie first called them “we,” and his sudden switching of sides all lead me to conclude that like in the comics, movie!Venom is a big romantic sap that wanted a fairytale symbiosis with a perfect host and all the other reind- Klyntar can’t even deal with his nonsense.
No wonder Riot was so keen on finding him and getting him back on Plan Let’s Get Ready to Invade These Assholes. It’d been six months since he’d seen Venom, and he just knows that without supervision that fucking jackass has gone and fallen in love with the first son of a bitch that didn’t die on him and talked to him halfway decently and now he’s not gonna want to conquer the planet.
And sure enough, he’s not even surprised when Venom turns up all traitorous and married. He gives him one, fleeting chance to get in the fucking rocket, you lunatic, and then he’s just gonna fucking eat him. He’s tired of this, Venom. Absolutely done with this shit.
Riot: GODDAMMIT, VENOM, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. LOOK AT HIM. YOUR TASTE IS GETTING WORSE.
Venom: HE GAVE ME TATER TOTS AND CALLED US “WE” AND “BUDDY.” WE KISSED IN THE FOREST UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WE WILL HAVE SEVEN CHILDREN.
Riot: VENOM, DROP THAT THING RIGHT NOW, I WON’T TELL YOU AGAIN. HE SMELLS LIKE SWEAT AND FAILURE.
every time i massage moisturizer onto my face i feel kin with those evil witches in stories obsessed with youth and beauty….they did nothing wrong, ever,
thor: :DDDDDDD!!!!!!!! banner im so happy to see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont wanna hurt u!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💕💝💞💘💓💝💞💝💗💘💘💘💖💝💞💗💞💞💗💖💖💝💘💖💕💞💖💕💝💞💘💖💗!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys, from now on DC will be changing future prints of Batman: Damned #1 to censor out Batman’s d*ck, but the joke’s on them now because Batman’s d*ck is going to become a collector’s item.
Printed copies of bat-dk are going to be selling for $35,000 a pop on ebay soon, it’s going to be absolute mayhem. Invest in Bat-d*ck if you can and invest in your future. Buy up every issue in your local comic store. Let Batman’s d*ck pay for your children’s college tuition. It’s what Batman would want.
lanablack 