the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation
i hope harry took full advantage of being able 2 say he literally died and came back 2 life to save the wizarding world like *has to queue for ten minutes outside the ministry entrance to get into work* ‘i did not die for this’ *hermione is nagging him for some paper work* ‘i already literally died for the wizarding world hermione is that not enough’ *draco makes a smug comment in the corridor* ‘shut up malfoy i died for your sins’
harry james potter, saviour of the wizarding world:
me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats??
Class: Infant Race: human Strength: 0 can barely support own head Agility 0 needs to learn to walk Intelligence: 2, understands that crying brings food, replacement of soiled garments with fresh ones Wisdom 1 no object permanence Charisma: 20 becuase people lose their shit around babies, -1 for each month until Terrible Twos and all Charisma drops to 1.
HP: 2
Spells per day: Cloudkill, Telepathic Summons, Sleep (casts on Self),
Infant fingernails: does +1 cutting/slashing damage
lanablack 